I Am a Princess

My father loves me. My father challenges me. My father chose me. My Father is Jesus. My Father is a King. That makes me a Princess.

This is what we talked about last week. The Father Heart of God. And what a week it was for me. Challenging, painful at times, but refreshing.

As we were going through lectures with David Stephenson from YWAM New Castle, Australia, I felt like everything I was hearing was brand new. And that's because, in a sense, it was. Last quarter during music DTS, I purposely did not listen. That's bold, but true. I knew with a topic like Father Heart, I was going to have to face the fact that I don't have an earthly father; something I was no ready to deal with. Since then, God has worked on my heart, preparing me to have this topic again, preparing not only my ears, but my heart to listen as well.

Have you ever taken a second to ask God how he sees you? It may, or may not be one of the scariest things you ever do. Typically, if there is an area of sin in your life, than it's hard to believe that God sees us as His children. Children whom he loves. If that is the case, there is only one thing to do. Walk in humility... confess that sin, and be vulnerable. And that is the most beautiful thing to God; Humility & Vulnerability. Humility is seeing yourself as God sees you. Do you want to be beautiful to God? Cause I know I do. So it is a challenge to me.... to walk in humility. 

The subject of God being our Father is so sunday school, but do we really believe it in our hearts? Do we live our lives in such a way that reflects that? As our Father, God desires that we claim Him as "Dad" -- " I myself said, 'How gladly would I treat you like my children and give you a pleasant land, the most beautiful inheritance of any nation.' I thought you would call me 'Father' and not turn away from following me" [Jeremiah 3:19] Some of the saddest words I have ever read in the Bible..."I thought you would call me Father." To think that at times I don't claim God as my Father, when he desires us to. Because only HE can provide everything we need. Yes, we may have wonderful earthly fathers, but not perfect. But God is perfect.

Did you know, in Bible times [Roman times], you could legally divorce your natural children? However, if you adopted a child, you could not divorce them, because the parent chose them. And guess what -- we are chosen -- officially and legally adopted by God. -- Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or husband's will, but born of God [John 1:12-13] HOW COOL! This means that our Father will never, ever, ever abandon us. 

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With this knowledge, it's time to re-script our view. If we view ourselves as crap, we will probably treat ourselves like crap. If we view ourselves as beloved of God, we will act as such. There is a war for our identity. This goes back to the humility thing too. Sometimes, we have false humility. But false humility is another form of pride. If we see ourselves too lowly...or too highly, we are putting our opinions over the opinions of our Father. So, let's just let God love us, let him tell us who we are, and rest in that! There is no reason to have guilt [guilt says "i have done something wrong"] or shame [shame says "there's something wrong with me"]. He loves us despite of our past, present, and future! How amazing.

These are just some of the things that God taught me over the week, and then it came time to application. Here is where more revelation come in. -- On Friday, we were supposed to address areas of hurt, or sin due to wrong views of the Father. I had several. First off, I realized that the reason I had not wanted to pay attention to other Father Heart-ish type things is because I felt that it meant I had to let go of my earthly Father and his death. Something I was not willing to do. But that is a wrong assumption, God does not replace our earthly fathers, He simply comes to show us perfect love. The Hurt.

There have been a few major disappointments in my life. Things that have evoked many emotions. God revealed to me this week that in the past, I have taken these disappointments, held on to the emotion, and acted out, instead of letting God come and minister his Father heart to me. When we have revealed truth like this come to our life, we are held responsible to apply it. Now that this has been revealed to me, I must apply it. Therefore, I know that when things in life come, and I face disappointment [which will continue to happen in life], I must press into God.

SO that is what God has been doing in my life. I am so passionate about this, and just had to share because I feel like it's something that many people need to hear!

Love you guys. 

The Blessing of Being Stretched

Firstly: I'M REALLY SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE POSTED. Forgive me?

Wow. Where to begin...
      Week six is upon us of my second DTS. That means that I have official been in Perth, Australia for nineteen weeks. That's four months and thirteen days. I am just about half way done with lecture phase, and just about at the half way point of the 9 months I will be spending away from home. Crazy! In one sense, I feel like it was just yesterday that I boarded the plane in Charlotte. In another sense, it feels like I have lived here my whole life.
      Well, in the last five weeks, I can say that I have learned more, experienced more, and been stretched more than probably ever before. God has totally revealed Himself to me in a way that I have never experienced things. I am learning things not only about God, but about myself too. He has totally been faithful to me during this process, and has been so gracious to me. And I'm so excited to share about that!
       Things this go around for DTS are so different. Not in a bad way, not in a good way... just different. But through that, God is growing me. For instance... I am in a sports DTS. Enough said.
      If you know anything about me, you know how important relationships are to me. Friends... I LOVE my friends. And I love them well. I have always been someone more worried about friendships than other things. With that said, I have to admit that I don't have the intimacy in relationships this DTS as I did during my music DTS. But I believe that is because God is teaching me to TOTALLY and COMPLETELY rely on Him for everything. Not just for the things that I need, but also for friendship, intimacy, and identity. He has been teaching me to not look for others to affirm me, but to find my affirmation in Him. I don't need worldly acceptance, when this world is only temporary. That gives me such a sense of security. 
      Along with that, I have been a bit more "grandma"-ish in the sense that I am not letting myself burn at both ends. God has been teaching me to rest, not just rest in him, but to physically rest as well. That way I am more alert to the things He has to share with me. That way I can tune into Him. Amazing!
      With doing a DTS again, essentially I am doing the same exact thing that I did before as far as lecture go, however, I feel like I am learning more this go around than the first time. My heart is in a better place. We have had lectures on Repentance & Forgiveness [again], and God really dealt with me there. I did not initially plan on re-applying the lectures and getting up infront of my class, but I knew I had to. This time, it was not about events, and things of my past, but instead about character issues that God is working on me.
      He is stretching me to say the least. He has taken me out of my comfort zone. Out of my one-tracked mind of "july quarter" with my music DTS, my july quarter friends, the house I was living in, and out of music. Now I am learning what it means to walk in humility. To re-do things, even though I do not want to, to be a quiet leader, to play sport all the time, to lay down my music, and to live in a new room with new roommates. But God is good, He is using me, and that is encouraging to even ME! I am being stretched to be a blessing... to further the kingdom in the long run, and to live for His glory!
      I am learning what it means to walk with the Lord. I thought I was passionate about Jesus last quarter, well he has quadrupled that passion! I am SO hungry for more of the Lord. I find myself talking to God not just in my quiet times or in worship times, but all day during everything! I love having a two-way relationship with my savior! He is so cool! 

      So that is just a bit of what has been going on. Tomorrow, we have to decide where we feel God is calling us on outreach. Here are our choices:

Team 1:

Mozambique, Africa [6 weeks]

& Southwest Australia [4 weeks]

Team 2:

Cambodia [6 weeks]

Thailand [1 week]

China [4 weeks]

      I will announce soon where I will be going to! But for now you can pray that God would begin to bring unity to the teams even before they are officially announced! You guys are amazing and I thank each of you for your prayers! 

Until next time...

For Such a Time as This...

For DTS, we have to turn in a journal every Sunday Night. Part of the first weeks journal is giving it a name. I was really struggling to think of what to call it when all I could think of were the countless journal entries I have turned in over the last three months. Then it hit me... "For such a time as this..."

Never in a million years did I imagine I would be completing my first week of a Sports DTS having already completed lecture phase of a DTS. For such a time as this. Re-doing all the lectures I have previously sat through but learning just as much, if not more than I did previously. For such a time as this. "Jamming" during the week which in fact does not mean sitting around playing music, but instead kicking around a soccer ball. For such a time as this. Retelling my story, beginning new relationships and starting work duties all over again. For such a time as this.

For such a time as this.... God has something really big in store for me, I can feel it in my bones and in my heart. No, this is not what I envisioned for myself, God is turning ashes into beauty. Joy is continuously coming in the morning. Yes, there are times when all I can think about is what it would be like if I was on outreach with my team who I have come SO close to and love SO much, but I think it's all part of my consequence.... But I know there is hope. God doesn't want me to dwell in that sadness, but instead learn from this experience. 

With all that said, we are officially in our second week of lectures. Last week was full of orientation (reorientation for me), registration, getting to know you games, and lots of junk food. There are 23 people in my DTS. The majority are from North America - the Canadians over took this quarter - but some from Europe and Asia as well. There are 11 girls, and we all live in a house together with our two girl staff, Bridget & Erica, about a ten minute walk from base. The age of our DTS ranges from 18-21 with one 22 year old, and one 26 year old. Most are soccer players, but there are a few volleyball players in the mix. Our lectures for the week were on Hearing the Voice of the Lord and our speaker was Trisha Hooper. Trisha pioneered the Sports DTS here in Perth. It was really cool, because she is getting ready to go to Chile for a year and pioneer a new school, and we were able to pray for her and commission her off. 

During last weeks lectures, God really convicted me of things in my relationship with Him that I need to work on. One being my one-way relationship with Him. All the time I am asking God to bless ME with things, making it all about ME, when really, I need to be more God focused. Another thing that God revealed to me was His place in my life. I realized that yes, God has always been something in my life... and mostly a big something, but He has never been my everything. And that's what I need. I need God, I'm hungry for Him. I'm hungry for Him to be apart of every aspect of my life. I never want to be satisfied with where I am at in my relationship with Him, but instead always pursing Him. I want to pursue Him in the same way He pursues me. Even though there was a lot of conviction, there was also grace. God is not a harsh God, and he NEVER sets me up to fail. Praise the Lord for that!

With this new week, we are in full swing with work duties (yes, I am on lunch dishes again), morning excersize (yeah, I ran 16, 40 m sprints the other morning), morning chores, DTS sport, sport league (I am on a volleyball team, and our first game is tomorrow night at 10 PM), and more lectures. This week, we have Joe Moreno speaking on The Nature and Character of God. Joe is head over the youth ministries here on base, the same ones that I hope to be apart of if/when I come back to join staff. With one day down, God is already affirming His character to me. 

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- My wallet was stollen this morning. My ID/Drivers License, Credit Card, Bank Card, Cash, American Health Insurance, Australian Health Insurance, Train Card, and Working With Children's Check card were all in there. So pretty much my whole life.  -- Please pray that whoever took it will feel convicted and return it here to base. 

- With that said, I have no money, but I am still trusting God for finances. I need $1,370 for my lecture fees. They were due last Friday, but I am believing that they will come in soon

- My team in London is going through a bit of Spiritual Warfare, and I would love for you to join with me in praying for them



If you would like to donate to my lecture fees, please send me a message, or go to https://www.ywamperth.org.au/007/payonline.asp

The Unexpected...

God is so funny sometimes. A lot of times, when we make a plan for ourselves, God throws speed bumps at us, and puts detours in our path. That way, He is able to show us that He is supreme in ALL His ways, but at the same time, good. 

This is exactly what happened to me...

So, I have been putting off writing this blog for about a week and a half. Simply, because I have been uncertain as to what exactly I should say, and how I should say it. But it's time to let you guys know what has been going on and what will be going on. 

As most of you know, my DTS left for outreach to London on Saturday, September 26. I watched the bus drive a way... I was not in it. That is right, while the rest of my DTS is on outreach, I am not. Here is why....

A couple weeks ago, I made a choice... a bad choice. Outside of YWAM context, the choice I made is not wrong, however it is in the rules. And breaking the rule was the bad choice. Of course, everything done in darkness will be brought to the light... So of course, it wasn't long before I was confronted about it. One of the BIGGEST things I have learned not just in the last several years of my life, but also on my DTS is that honesty is the best policy. So I answered honestly. 

So then two weeks ago, I was asked to meet with my school leader and a base leader. I was told that I had four days to schedule a flight, pack my things, say good-bye and fly home. Not only was I asked to leave, but two of my best friends who were also students, and two staff members who I had gotten to know really well. 

This devastated me because not only did I let my outreach team down, I let my whole DTS, the whole YWAM base, my leaders, my mom, and myself down. God was really stirring me during this time. At first, I felt totally under spiritual attack, questioning the realness of my relationship with God and myself. But then God affirmed me in something... I'm human. I make mistakes. However, just because I am inconsistent, and unfaithful at times, God is still faithful, and ALWAYS consistent. Where there has to be consequence and repentance, there also is room for grace.

At the same time that God was affirming His character to me, He was also calling me to take action. One of the things I have really felt since being here is a call to missions, a call to YWAM Perth more specifically. So I felt like God told me to fight to stay here; to prove that I am not defined by what happened, and to show myself trustworthy and the importance of me being here. God also spoke this to my mom, and to my leader. Let me tell you, I have the BEST school leader ever. Chenaniah is one heck of a guy! So I really began to pray into that. And then the unexpected happened...

Chenaniah (my school leader) approached me two days before I was supposed to leave and presented me with an alternative to leaving. Normally when one school leaves to go on outreach, a new school comes in to begin lecture phase of DTS. I have the opportunity to start my DTS over on October 7 with a whole new set of students. Along with that, I will only have to pay half of my lecture phase fees, and because I had already paid my outreach fees, I will not have to pay any of that. WHOA! Talk about AMAZING! I was completely taken aback by this offer. But I feel like it is one I have to take. I know God has called me here, and unless I finish my DTS, then I can't be apart of the awesome things God is doing here. 

I prayed about it, and initially I was ready to come home, but then God reminded me of the things He had been speaking to me about YWAM Perth since being here. Also, I was afraid that I would have the wrong mindset since lectures will be so fresh to me, but then my wonderful mom said something that struck me... "Grace, you'll get as much out of lectures as you want to get out of them." With that said, I am going to approach this new opportunity like it's a first. Like I have never been here before. If I am going to stay, I am going to completely throw myself into this. I want an even greater understanding of who God is. I want to be taken to another level when it comes to knowing God's heart for me and for the nations. I want to fall more in love with Him. 

So that's it. I will be starting my DTS over on October 7. There is not a Music DTS running this quarter, so I will be apart of a Sports DTS that has 22 students in it (11 girls, 11 boys). We will get many an opportunity to use sport in ministry...and hopefully I'll shed some of that freshman 15 i've seemed to obtain. I will be here until December 27 or 28, and then I will go on outreach with this new DTS. The cool thing is that I will be here when my Music DTS gets back from outreach and will be able to hear all the wonderful stories of what God has done through some of my best friends. BUT that also means I'll be here for Christmas. I will return from outreach late March, and then I will return home sometime in April! 

So this six month journey has turned into nine months. But it is great, and God is good! I am getting to see how YWAM perth works as a base in all seasons, and build better relationship with staff. 

PRAYER REQUESTS
- Pray for my team on outreach right now in London, India, Cambodia, and Nepal. 
- Pray that God continues to work in me through this season
- Pray for finances to come in 
- Pray and ask God if He would have you partner with me financially during this
      - $570 for an extended student visa since I will be here 3 months longer than planned
      - $130 for extended overseas-health insurance
      - $100 for an enrollment into a new DTS
      - $1,890 for my lecture fees
      - $600 for living expenses 
      Total: $3,290

If you would like to donate towards my financial needs, here is how:
- Go to https://www.ywamperth.org.au/007/payonline.asp 
- Fill out Your Details
- Fill out Money Details
       - Step 1: select Student Payment
       - Step 2: select School Fees
       - Select School: Discipleship Training School - Sports - October
       - Who is it for? Someone Else
           - Grace Eggers
       - Final Step: This money is for Grace Eggers' school fees in the October Sports DTS

Another Countdown...

And the next countdown has begun....
12 days.

In just 12 days, life as I know it in YWAM will change. Lecture phase will have come to a complete, and outreach phase will begin. I can't believe in less than two weeks I will be in London. We have sent in our visa applications to the Indian embassy, gotten backpacks, purchased plane tickets, and seen finances come down.

That is one thing I am most excited to tell you about. For all 40 of us to go on outreach, we needed $160,000 by September 5. For about three weeks, we were meeting in our outreach groups at 6 AM to pray for a  final push for finances to subdue. God is so faithful, so of course we saw them come in. On the morning of September 5, as a base, we had a worship and intercession day to also push for finances.  There are other DTS's going on who also needed finances, and several base ministries going on outreach.

Well, on that night, we still needed $19,000 as a Music DTS. So here is what we did.... we all gathered in a room, had a time of worship, and then asked God to lay specific people on our hearts within our DTS to give finances to. In fifteen minutes, we saw $7,000 come in! We had a whiteboard with everyones name and amounts needed. We saw names whipped off the board, and other totals come down. Then, in another ten minutes, my leader announced "we are done," and whipped the board clean. Wait....what? We're done? WE'RE DONE! That is right, in twenty five minutes, we had $19,000 come in from our other DTS mates.... from missionaries to missionaries. What a testimony! God is SO faithful!

So for the most part, we are all ready to go. I still have no idea what we will be doing exactly on outreach, but apparently we find out tonight.

As for now, we still have to finish this week of lectures on Evangelism, and then next weeks on Relationships & Unity. Lectures have been SO great, and God continues to speak to me and minister to me in ways unimaginable.

On another note, there is a young married couple who has been apart of our DTS and were going to be on my outreach team, however, the wife's [Stephanie] dad, has taken a health turn for the worst and the two of them took off last night to go back home to Switzerland to be with family. They will however rejoin us for outreach in India, missing the London side of it. Please pray for total healing for her dad and for peace for the family.



Talk to you soon :)

I'm going into the world...... [Matthew 28:19-20]

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

[Matthew 28:19-20 NIV]

I know what you're all thinking....I'm in a missions school... of course that would be the verse I use. But this verse has really had an impact on me. I want you to read same passage, but from The Message:

"God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age."

[Matthew 28:19-20]

And that is exactly what I feel like God is calling me to do; to take this knowledge and revelation of God's character and truth that i've learned into the world and share it! Why would I want to keep it for my self? Over my nine weeks here so far, I have really felt God affirm my call in life. And that call is going to lead me to be a full time missionary! How awesome? So what does this mean? Well... this means that I will not be attending college in January as originally planned. Instead, I am going to be attending a second level YWAM School in Denver, Colorado! The school is called School of Worship (SOW) [click the link to read about it]. The mission statement for this course is, "to raise-up worshippers who are passionate about Jesus and skillfully trained; those who will not only minister to God's heart, but will go into all the world with His high praises in their mouth and a two-edged sword in their hand (Psalm 149:6),"  

After that? I am not totally sure, but I know that I will be involved in missions/ministry. I am pretty confident that it will be in the form of YWAM. I would love to be apart of a YWAM youth ministry, or staff a DTS. At this point, I can't really see past SOW, but I know God will speak to me. 

Okay so here is the background story of why I have chosen this over Berklee College of Music (Yeah I know that you guys think i'm absolutely crazy for turning down a scholarship there, and yeah, I am crazy): When my mom was pregnant with me, she was prophesied over that I would be a worship leader! This prophecy has always been in the back of my head, but I never really knew how to pursue it. I thought by going to music school I would be pursing this, when really I realized that going to Berklee is only going to pursue my musical calling, but not my worship leader calling. I also realized something else since being here. When I first got here, I thought that because I had gotten a scholarship, God wanted me at Berklee, but then I got the revelation that God is a God of CHOICES! I believe that there is ONE call on our lives, but MANY paths to that calling. By God providing me with the finances for Berklee, He made Berklee an option for me. Had the finances not been there, it wouldn't have even been an option. So yeah, God made that an option because of His goodness. So SOW is another one of those options, and for right now, it is the option I am going to take. By being at Berklee, I would be getting an education to be in the industry, or sit in an office as a musical therapist, when really I know that I am called to be in the world, and see it change! By being apart of SOW, I will not only get an intense training in music, but also a training in how to be a Worship Leader and also get training to go into the world! I have been praying about this a lot, and so has my mom and we are both in agreement!

So yes, this is me officially announcing that I am not going to college as planned, and I am going to be a missionary! Yes this is very scary as I will be totally dependent for finances. SOW is another $4,000 and then joining staff can be anywhere from $14,000 and $17,000 a year because of staff fees, meals, insurance, visas, etc. BUT I know that God is my ultimate provider, and if I am in the center of His will, He WILL provide. Yes, I know I have to be proactive and do my part, but I am totally trusting God for finances in the years to come!

I ask that you partner with me so that I may hear clearly from God about my future, and also pray even now that God provides my finances. 

Well 24 days til I leave for London & India! I'll let you know more soon!

- Grace Eggers

Make Complacency My Enemy...

"Hear me Oh Lord when I cry.

I'm broken, I'm thirsty, and I'm tried.

God make complacency my enemy and your fight.

Let desperation be like David's key for my life.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me;

my cup runneth over, my cup runneth over.

The broke, the contrite you have yet to deny.

I lay before you; I lay bare before you.

No you're never gonna leave me dry

No you don't, no you don't' no you don't

You're always willing; my cup you'll be filling

You fill us with your love; overwhelm us with you love.

Take us from the ashes, seat us with princes.

It's what you do; it's just what you do!"

- Never Gonna Leave Me Dry - IHOPKC

This song has come up so many times this week during base worship, school worship, worship night, and in my quiet times! I have really made this my prayer! One of the words spoken over our school is that we "make complacency our enemy"! What a prayer! God has really been speaking to me about a lot of things the past week or so and I can't wait for Him to continue speaking. 

With all that said, I am really sorry that I haven't posted an update in a while! I have no legitimate excuse! So i'll get right into it. Since my last blog we have had lectures on the Father Heart of God, Submission & Authority, and this past week was on Missions! Talk about heavy topics! Father Heart was really good, and I embraced the healing that came through seeing God as my Heavenly Father. Authority & Submission was also great and very challenging. However, my favorite week thus far has been Missions. We had the National Director for YWAM Bangladesh speak to us. Originally from Papua New Guinea, he has truly adopted Bangladesh as his home. It was so great to see someone who has SO much passion for the nations and has so much passion to see others catch the same passion. He talked a lot about the imbalance in missions and mission support! Did you know that only 10% of Christians support missionaries!? That makes me really sad!

On Friday, we applied Missions by "adopting a country." We were given a list of unreached countries to pray about. Part of adopting a country is to pray, give, or go. At first I didn't feel like i was discerning what God was saying to me, however as I kept praying, God clearly spoke SYRIA to me. Wait... what? Why? I was kinda bummed because I was hoping God would speak a south-east asian or african country to me. But God really pressed Syria on my heart and as I kept praying about it, God began to give me an excitement. Yes I have to admit that I didn't even know where Syria was, but now I know that I have to find out more about the country and definitely keep it in my prayer. 

During the course of the week, I really witnessed God reveal His call on my life for missions/ministry. In reality, I think I have always been called to missions, but it took this week for my eyes to be opened to it. I have never wanted to lead an ordinary lifestyle, and I don't want to. God has called me to be apart of the world, to live in the world, and to see it change. The thought of living the "american dream" sickens me. Not saying that it is wrong, and yes for some people that dream is awesome, but for me particularly, I know God has called me to live out of the normal. Having a call in missions is very scary, but also VERY exciting! 

So yes folks, I, Grace Eggers am going to be a missionary!

Talk to you soon! I promise I won't keep you waiting again, 

Grace Eggers

PRAYER REQUESTS

- Pray for my outreach team going to London and Hyderabad, India

- Pray that God will bring in funds for outreach! We need $4,500 each! (Ask God also if He would have you partner with me in supporting me financially with my costs)

- Pray for direction as to what to do after DTS

- Pray for continued health for my body recovering from Mononucleosis/Glandular Fever