The Closer, The Harder

WARNING: This is long, but I would love for you to read it all!

At my school there is a big emphasis in missions. There is an alumna, Sarah Atwell currently in Russia with YWAM Brisbane, a team going to Ireland from my high school, and of course me and me future endeavors to YWAM Perth. In each classroom, there are pictures of each of these groups. As I sit here writing this blog my picture is on the back of the door right in front of me. For some reason this overwhelms me... there is a reason I am on that door, because I am going to YWAM where I'll be in Australia for six months without anyone or anything that is familiar to me. As a three-weeks-shy-of-18 year-old, these big changes are terrifying.  Never have I ever been so anxious and nervous about something. The unknown is the scariest thing I have ever faced. In the last year, it seems the unknown has become quite too familiar to me. The light at the end of the tunnel is that most of the time the unknown becomes the known; the future becomes the present eventually.


Thankfully I have my amazing mother to help me prepare for all of this. She has been so good at helping me get the things I need ready. Though I am unable to do too much this soon in advance, she has been my biggest supporter. Sometimes I think I take her for-granted. Well, I know I do. My mom is so strong; I'm a little unsure how. Like I have always depended on her, she has always depended on my dad, her husband. After being married to her best friend for twenty-eight years, he is no longer able to be her crutch.


Ever since my dad died on May 7, 2011 things have been very challenging as you can presume. My mom and I argue a lot more than we ever did but that's because we are learning how to change our relationship from just mother-daughter to parents-daughter. My mom has had to take on so much responsibility that she hadn't before and I am having to learn how to relate to her in such a manner.


It's been nine months since my dad died, and I have been doing very well, but right now I am feeling a breakdown come on. Right now, in my computer class at school. It's true that time heals, but it doesn't make it go away. I see it as a rock in your pocket; it's always there, but some days you can't feel it weighing as heavily as the day before. It's hard for me though because I am not sure how to express how I am feeling. My friends have all moved on, and I don't blame them for that. I'm the one dealing with it every day, and I feel awkward when I have an emotional outburst. I know there are those who want me to know it's okay to have those, but it's hard to know when it's appropriate. The even harder thing is, grief sneaks up on you.

My dad was always so goofy

My dad was my biggest cheerleader, and when it came to missions and my future he was like a super-fan. My dad knew that I wanted to go to YWAM and he wanted me too. If he were here, he would be the one helping me with everything, and though I am thankful for my moms help, I have to be honest.... I wish it were my dad helping me. I wish it were him helping me obtain my visa, go shopping for things I'll need on the mission field, and be the one to send me off at the airport. Yes I can tell myself over and over that I know he is here with me... but sometimes it's hard to believe my own words.


There are other pivotal moments coming up that I don't want to face without my dad. My 18th birthday is in 2.5 weeks, and this will be my first birthday without him. My first birthday without his sentimental cards that he gives me only on my birthday (any other holiday called for a comical card). I am going to be an adult (kind of) and he is not here to walk me through that. Also graduation.... I believe that is going to be the hardest day I will have without him.


Well the bell just rang to go to Bible class... Please pray for strength for me in the coming months.


Grace

The Best of Me - EP

In efforts to help fund my adventure with YWAM, I am doing anything I can possibly think of. Since I am going to YWAM for Music, my mom and I figured it would be a good idea for me to do fundraising with music involved if I can.

I just finished a short recording project with The Bench Studios located in Monroe, NC. The EP is called "The Best of Me - EP" It contains five songs which  are all original songs that I wrote over the last year or so. I am very excited about this project because it is a long work in progress. I have struggled with writing songs for a long time but have had so many song ideas and emotions bursting from me, but finally I have something to show for it.

graceeggers.bandcamp.com is where you can go to listen and purchase the EP. Each song is $1.00, and the whole EP is $5.00. However, there is an option to give more when you hit the purchase button. All of the money from this project is going straight to my YWAM fund. Please consider donating to this!


CLICK HERE TO LISTEN 

Excited
Grace

The Next Phase

College acceptance is among one of the most anticipated things for a person during their senior year. I have been accepted to all the schools I applied to (App State, University of Tennessee, and Berklee College of Music). I will be going to Berklee, however I won't be starting until fall of 2013. Before starting school, I am going to take a gap year. The following is a letter I am sending out to friends and family explaining what i'll be doing. Some of you will be lucky to get one of these letters in the mail! However I didn't want anyone to miss out on the opportunity to know what God has in store or me in this year and of course to be praying...


Dear friends and family,                                                                                        

Looking back a year ago, I did not imagine that the decisions I am making today would be the ones I would make. This time last year my mom, dad, and I were making plans to travel to Brazil for the month of July. We would vacation, and then do the missions. However, I was more excited about the vacation part. I could see myself on a few short term missions trips, but the thought of doing anything over two weeks scared me.

            When my dad passed away in May last year, every ounce of me resented going. However, the experience that I had in Brazil was absolutely life changing. I was given the opportunity to be the teams worship leader, and after the first day leading worship, I knew that missions would be a big part of my life, if not what I do for the rest of it.

            With all that said, I am excited to announce that I am enrolled in Youth with a Mission (YWAM) Music Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Perth, Australia running from July 1 – December 15, 2012. I believe this is where God wants me for this time in my life, and I am so exited for this door that He has opened for me. I will be in Perth for the first three months where I will learn how to implement music in missions and ministry while really drawing close to the Lord. On the latter half of the school, I will be sent out into the nations to then apply what I have learned.

            I would like to ask you to join with me on this adventure God has by being a prayer warrior. Please pray for safety as I will be doing a lot of traveling, and also for good health. Please pray that I am able to adjust easily to a new environment. And of course pray for my mom who will remain in Charlotte.

Tamara, a precious girl in Brazil

Please prayerfully consider partnering with me financially in the next few months. The estimated cost of my travels, schooling, outreach, and living expenses will be around $10,000. If you would like to support me, please make checks out to Helping Hands Inc. All donations are tax deductable. In order to get the tax write off, please leave the memo line of the check blank, simply attaching a note saying the donation is for me.

Thank you for all your love and support,
Grace Eggers

To support me, please send funds to Helping Hands Inc

Helping Hands Inc
1241 Briar Creek Road
Charlotte, NC 28205

Just a glimpse...

When I was in eighth grade, I blogged faithfully. Due to the craziness of high school I slowly began to dismiss that hobby. But here I am picking it back up again. This time, I hope it sticks. There are so many things going on in my life right now that It would be a stupid not to keep an account of it. I journal in a physical journal, but those are more personal thoughts that I don't think necessary to share here on the world wide web. However, my goal is to update this with practical things. Updates. Simple as that.


Senior year. What a funny, peculiar year in a person's life. Some days are full of anticipation for the end of this chapter, and the beginning of the next. However, others are filled with the sadness of leaving your classmates and teachers that you have come to call your family. Its the last year in your most pivotal years of life. And of course being a senior, teachers try to cram as much wisdom into your brains as they can.


Also, with senior comes decisions about your future. What to do next?


Well this blog is hopefully going to be a place where I can keep everyone updated on what the next chapter of my life is going to look like.


-Grace