Forgiveness & Repentance

This is going to be long, but you're going to want to read it. Seriously.


Wow, what a week! I wish everyone on this earth could go through what I and the rest of my DTS went through this week. Let's start at the very beginning...a very good place to start.


Monday mornings, we run. Each day we start out with morning excersize at 6 AM. Yeah, you read that right... I am up BEFORE 6 AM every morning here. Good discipline, eh? Anyways... we all showed up to morning excersize like always, except this time, there was a different vibe in the air. All weekend we had been hearing rumors and stories of what this week would bring to us. Forgiveness & Repentance. Let me tell you what, people don't talk it up for no reason.


Yes, this weeks lectures were on Forgiveness & Repentance. We had one of our base leaders, Ari Slooks from Holland speak to us every morning on not just forgiving and repenting, but living a life of forgiveness and repentance. In the first 15 minutes of our lectures on Monday, God was already convicting me of sins in my life all the way back to third grade. Conviction of things in my life that I didn't realize were sin! The best thing about lectures here at YWAM is they are SO Bible based. There is a scripture to reference everything that our speakers say. That makes it all the more convicting. 


Not only did Ari teach on Forgiveness & Repentance, but he also encouraged us to dig into the Bible and think, he had some very challenging things for us to ponder. Monday-Wednesday were on repentance and the cross. Thursday was on sin and forgiveness. On Thursday, Ari gave us a piece of paper that had categories of sins based on the ten commandments, and gave us our homework. Our homework was to go home, and write out two lists; one for sins/repentance, and one for things/people we need to forgive. WHAT?! Seriously!? Yeah, I'd be bold enough to say that it was the hardest assignment I have EVER been given. 


How does one go about writing out sins as far back as we can think that we have never dealt with. First, you have to be humble enough to write out your sins. If you aren't then you're having pride <-- a sin. So you have to write that one too. See what I mean? As I was going through the list of sins and writing out my sins, there was none stop conviction. Then came to the forgiveness. That one was a bit easier, but still scary. 


SO now you're probably wondering why we did that. Well Friday morning was the answer.


Every Friday during DTS is "application day." Therefore, we put into practice what we learned Monday-Thursday. Little did we know (well we had an idea from all the stories), this would be the most monumental days in some of the lives of the MDTS (Music DTS). We were told to dress comfortably for a long day and to bring our lists. We met in a different room than our lecture room, somewhere more secluded, around 8:30 AM. We started with an hour of worship, and then the fun began. At the center of the room were three chairs. One for Ari, one for our Small Group leader, and the center chair for us. One at a time as led (not forced, but everyone participated), we took a lead of faith and sat in the middle chair with our lists. We confessed our sins....every....last...one....of....them in the form of a prayer. Then, we forgave. WHOA. Talk about emotions, talk about boldness, and talk about compassion. It was ABSOLUTELY amazing to see the boldness of EVERYONE (36 people, guys and girls between the ages of 17 and 31) take a step of humility and confess their deepest darkest sins, be forgiven and redeemed, and then release forgiveness to others. Everything from talking back to parents, to forgiving rapists. 


After the prayers by us, Ari prayed redemption and healing into our lives. After being supported by a loud cheer and applause, we each made our way to a cross in the back of the room, nailed our lists to it, and were prayed over by our small group. So much compassion and grace in the room through hugs, encouragement notes, and happy tears. 


WHAT A DAY! Well, I'm sure you're wondering what time we finished up? Well like I said, we started at 8:30 AM..... took 30 minutes for lunch, and 30 minutes for dinner, and finally left at 11:30 PM! YEAH, That's right. We went on for 15 hours! SO totally worth it though!


For me, God brought a lot of breakthrough concerning my dad. I realized this week that yes I have gotten over my angry-at-God stage, but I was harboring anger towards my dad. It was so good to release that and to also release forgiveness to others. I woke up feeling physically lighter and SO free! God is totally at work in my life, and I can't wait to keep telling you guys about it! 


What a testimony to the body of Christ! Can you imagine if people did that everyday? Today, it is so foreign to confess sins because of pride. But it is necessary. One of the biggest things we learned that it is not enough to just confess to God in our spirits and hearts, but there is something about verbal repentance that will bring us closer to the Lord. Ah. So good. I have the best savior ever, and He is faithful, and GOOD! He forgives out of LOVE and is SO approachable! 


Well, if you've made it this far, give yourself a pat on the back! 


Thanks for reading!